Feel the fear (and do it anyway).

7.1.13

As quotes go, the one up there in the title bar is one of my favourites but it's not something I put into action very often. You see, I miss out on so much and pass up invitations for things I really want to do/try because I have very little confidence and I don't like to do things on my own.

Although I love (and feel comfortable in) my own company and have a whale of a time if Jonathan is ever away on a weekend (sleeping, crafting, watching girly stuff on the telly, reading, baking, blogging, to name a few) I'm not very good at going solo when it comes to activities outside of our home. Thus, this makes it incredibly difficult to try new things and make new friends.

I have been this way for as long as I can remember and I suppose it stems from a mixture of low confidence and being too scared to make a fool out of myself to try anything new. I can ask myself "what's the worst that could happen?" until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't seem to help.

I'm also incredibly scared of criticism so the avoidance of trying something new means I can avoid any potential negativity. Mad I know!

There's an extensive list of things I want to do but haven't tried due to my lack of confidence or reliance on others to keep me company, but I thought detailing the main ones along with some quotes and awesome photos (via weheartit.com) may help to give me the boost and inspiration I need. Of course if you have any advice or words of wisdom then the comments box awaits you as does my thanks!


Photography course
I love finding new blogs and when I spot amazing photos on a blog they really draw me in and make me want to scroll through old posts (currently doing it with Love Audrey. From Gem With Love is another fave too!) I have a couple of cameras which are pretty good but taking photos on the "auto" mode isn't going to get me anywhere. I'd love to try a beginners photography course to learn what the dials and buttons actually mean and to improve the photos on my blog.

Singing lessons
There are a small select number of people who have heard me sing (usually accidentally and/or family members) who have told me I have a good voice. I'd love to join a choir but as you know from reading the above, I have no confidence and don't know whether I'd be good enough to join one. This is where the idea of singing lessons comes from. I've even done my research and found a singing teacher who practically lives on the doorstep but nope. I'm too much of a wuss to try it!

Exercise classes
Although I really like working out at home using my DVDs and You Tube, I don't get much variety and this can sometimes lead to a lack of motivation to do my workouts. I know which moves are coming up and how many times I have to do them so I don't always push myself when I've done the same workout 20 times before. There is a workout studio literally a 3 minute walk from our house which does Zumba, Pilates, toning classes, Cheerleading workouts(!) and a few others at various times through the day, evening and weekends so I have zero excuses apart from the fact I can't face turning up on my own.


Book club
I go through phases with reading where all I want to do is read and I get lost in book after book, but overall I try to read as many books as I can. I love the idea of going to a book club to meet new people and talk about books (I even found one that is run from a chocolate shop - how awesome is that?!)

Blog events
When I first started blogging back in 2009 I was so lucky to be invited to great blogging events for huge brands such as The Body Shop, Aussie and Loreal. Although I do think events like those aren't around so much anymore I am occasionally invited to launches and events which sound amazing but I always decline. My excuse of the travel being too far is partly true but there's also the element of not wanting to go alone as I'm shy and would hate to look like a billy-no-mates.

Cinema (for one)
I've thrown this one in as it's the one I could most likely achieve as it's not as scary as the others. I often miss out on films that I want to see as they're not Jonathan's cup of tea and, although I know he'd go with me in a shot, he works very hard and I'd hate to make him sit through an hour and a half of a "chick flick" in his "me time". I think a daytime showing of Pitch Perfect is on the cards for me soon. Ticket for one! ;)

41 comments:

  1. I love this post! I'm exactly the same! I hate going to places/doing things on my own! Your list of new things to do is awesome! Especially love the going to the cinema one! xxx

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  2. I am exactly the same as this! I never go anywhere alone, I really want to join a Zumba class this year and have no friends local to me who would go with me so I'm going to have to be brave and go alone! It'll be good for us though :-) good luck xx

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  3. you are confined only by the walls you build yourself - how true and this blog resonates so much with me, I could have written it myself. really enjoy reading your blog, first time I've commented. here's to 2013, the year of being a little braver :) x

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  4. If there is one thing I learned from 2012 it's that shooting for your dreams and goals pays. Good luck x

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  5. I'm much the same! I've been working on doing things solo for the past few years, and it's become easier to go it alone, although I still have days where it's a bit scary! I found doing small things first like sitting in a coffee shop, going to the cinema, going for lunch etc are good places to start :)

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  6. Such a lovely and honest post!
    I would say start with the task that fears you the least and work towards your other goals gradually. All of the things you'd like to try sound such fun and you'd feel so proud if you achieved them! Good luck lovely. ;) xx

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  7. Im exactly the same! The confidence/low esteem barrier gets in the way of me doing so very much! The one im worst for this is doing a craft group/learning! I really want to but im just too nervous! xxx

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  9. If you want to start singing, have a look at rock choir :) xx

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  11. Such a lovely honest post!

    I have realised through your recent posts and instagrams I am from the same area as you and when I am home from university I feel the exact same! I have been trying to convince myself to go to an exercise class for months and I just chicken out when I do get around to doing it haha! I'm such a wuss! I do hope you manage to conquer your fears and do the things you want to do! You never know we could bump into each other haha :) Good luck!

    xx
    - Keeley
    Livinginyourimagination.blogspot.com

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  12. oh my god im exactly the same- love alone time inside but get panicky and sweaty at even the thought of going out/shopping alone- thought it was just me xxx

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  13. So many people are like this lovely. Me too. I always try and battle through it though and one day I will learn to love going places on my own. I've done solo cinema, even with popcorn and I enjoyed it very much. Although I will be forcing Benjamin to see Les Miserables as I think he'd actually enjoy it :P

    Jen | sunny sweet pea xx

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  14. I really want to go to the cinema on my own but I always chicken out (made my bf go to see Pitch Perfect last week and he was not impressed - I loved it though!)

    You should go for it with the exercise classes though - I often go on my own and there are always plenty of other people going solo :)

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  15. I also lack confidence, but trust me, Victoria - you CAN do things once you set your mind to it! I've always been shy, yet I've performed in front of hundreds of people in the west end [dancing] and I used to do singing lessons too. Once you find something you enjoy, your confidence will grow. I absolutely love performing [although haven't done much lately due to lack of time], and even though I'm shy I still do it and enjoy it! I hope you can conquer your shyness and do all these lovely things. I can select a good few of them I'd love to try myself. xx

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  16. I'm always making excuses to not do some thing - for a lot of people this seems to be the year of saying yes - I'm trying to learn more about photography as well!! Hope to see some of your pictures soon xxx

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  17. I'm exactly the same as you! Especially when it comes to exercise classes, I know i would really enjoy them but can't bring myself to go without another person. This year I am going to force myself to go alone as I know it will be worth it! x

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  18. I really like the picture about, if things aren't going right, go left. Sometimes things can be daunting and I always count myself as relatively confident (but on the inside sometimes I am so shy that its definitely a front)... still building up the courage to go to the cinema or eat in a restaurant alone x

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  19. I adore this post! I am very much the same....I get very anxious at the idea of meeting up with new people and them hating me so I tend to make plans but never follow through! Hope to change this a lot this year though and find confidence by doing stuff I love just like you!

    Wonderful inspiring post
    xxx

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  20. I used to be exactly the same... but I forced myself to go to a couple of things on my own and now I don't mind it so much! I love this quote "You'll always regret the things you don't do more than the things you do" - it's one of my motto's!

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  21. I love this post as i used to be the same, but once i started saying yes to things like Zumba and going places, my confidence has grown and i feel better for it :)
    xx

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  22. Amazing post, I found myself there..we miss so much amazing stuf because of what? Fear that is inside us...we have to let it go and live our life to the fullest!
    Great post dear.xx

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  23. There's a book called feel the fear and do it anyway that I read and it quite helped me actually you should check it out :)

    I also would like to take up singing lessons.

    I think you should just take the plunge and do all of these things! Why not? Who's stopping you? :)

    eyelashwishes-x.blogspot.co.uk

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  24. I love doing things alone, I go shopping alone, restaurants alone. I have always wanted to go to the cinema alone. Blogging events are always in London boooo xx

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  25. I love this post! Bite the bullet and go for it! I think for a lot of the classes/meetups you mentioned there will be others in the same boat as you. And as someone who felt very liberated after going to a cinema showing by herself, you will find everything else on your list much easier! Good luck :-)

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  26. I also get really nervous about doing things on my own and would love to do all of the above that you mentioned..which gets me thinking that there must be others like us who feel just the same! :) maybe 2013 is the year to stop thinking and just do? It is so nerve wracking but I keep thinking of what I would like to get out of experiences.

    Are you on Pinterest? I find that great for motivational pictures and quotes, my favourite at the moment is 'Quit Slackin' & Make Sh!t Happen!'

    x

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  27. Well done Victoria, you're really brave to write such an honest post and it's really inspired me. I'm just the same as you. I'm desperate to start writing a blog but have a huge fear that everyone will hate it, not want to read my stories or worse comment that I'm fat or ugly. I'm so sensitive and it frightens me so much I don't do it. I hope 2013 is your year of finding your confidence and courage. You deserve it. P.s. I love reading your blog. X

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  28. This is such a lovely post. I feel exactly the same, it seems like a lot of us do! I try to make a change but more often than not it's easier said than done. I hope that you can conquer some of these fears in 2013, and I hope to do the same! Do check in and let us know how it's going wont you. xxx

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  29. Hi! I started going to the cinema on my own last year, and the first couple of times are weird but now I am really happy doing it. My husband is away a lot, so it is a great excuse to get out of the house. I buy my ticket online, and collect from machine and go either quite early or just before trailers start. Good luck with your goals...xxx

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  30. It's as if I've written this myself (except for the singing, I'm useless unfortunately!) I SO want to go to a Zumba class, they look like so much fun, but fear being billy no mates as I've looked on the FB page and they all seem to know each other!

    I completely agree with you about blogging events, they're also a long way from me but the thought of turning up alone terrifies me! It also seems as if all the regulars who go are really close best buds too so I'd feel like a third wheel.

    I love the quote, 'you'll regret the things you haven't done, not the things you have,' yet it still doesn't give me the push to actually do it!

    Here's hoping we both get a little braver.

    xxx

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  31. I'm exactly the same - would love to join a ballet class, but I just don't want to go on my own. I always feel like everyone else would know each other and I would be a right loner! Also I adore reading, so would love to join a book club. Let's promise to take at towards this...we must give one of these classes a go!

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  32. I can completely relate :) I've not even put my blog link on my IG yet as there are people I went to school with following me and I'm worried about what they may think/say about my blog, EEEP!

    The exercise class one is something I hope to conquer this year. We have a fab all women's gym not too far away and they offer lots of brilliant classes and all really cheap too, I just can't get the courage up to go. I do badminton on a Mondays with my husband, Mum and family friend (sometimes my sister) I find this fine, but everyone on the courts around us are focusing on their games, so I'm not so worried about falling over or my lack of badminton skills. I think in a exercise class there would be a lot more focus on me if I were to fall over (which I do, ALOT) and my lack of fitness levels would be very apparent to everyone else!

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  33. I'm definitely the same! I feel quite happy in my own company but outside of my home I do few things alone. I also really quite like the idea of going to the cinema alone but don't want to be looked down upon
    -x-

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  34. I enjoy sometimes being on my own at home, but outside activity is most comfortable for me in good company. My hubby and I go often on photo trips together, and when he is at work I sometimes lose argument with myself and stay at home.
    But I went in the movie alone once, it was small, but sweet victory!:)

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  35. happy 2013, i loved reading through your plans for the year, id love to join/start a book club too- i just think all the ones near me are either mothers groups or old people haha. x

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  36. I tend to shy away from events and product launches too because I think I would just be all awkward and shy.

    Love your goals - they are realistic and I hope you enjoy ticking the list off.

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  37. Great post Victoria! One of my resolutions for 2013 was to make the most of every opportunity and not let my shyness hold me back.

    It gets easier every time, but given the choice, I'd still much prefer to go with a friend.

    Good luck with trying new things and hopefully see you at a bloggers event sometime this year! x

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  38. Hiya :) just started having a mosey through your blog, found it on someone's blog roll... Saw on your weight loss blog you were living in rotherham? I'm from Rotherham too and a singing teacher!! You should banish your fear x

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  39. You have written extremely brilliant. I've noted some tips from your post. Your blog is really informative and helpful.

    kimera

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