The art of letting go and starting again.

28.2.17

The art of getting by / getting over a break up - here

The art of sleeping - here

When Paul and I broke up just before Christmas I initially threw myself into looking for a job and house in Sheffield, so that I could be near to friends, familiar places, and (if I'm being really honest) him. Due to the shock of the break up and the adrenaline that was pumping around my body my chronic fatigue syndrome faded into the background and I convinced myself that I was well enough to go back to full time working and running my own home. I attended interviews and painted a smile on. I was barely eating, sleeping or thinking straight and my health came crashing down when the initial shock of what was happening wore off. I felt like I was back at square one; all of my hard work from the last year felt undone and I was so full of anger.

My homeopath recommended doing some "cord cutting" meditation exercises to cut ties with previous relationships, but one day I had the realisation that what I really needed to cut ties with is Sheffield. It's not my hometown; I ended up there through a series of events and stayed there as I had a good job at that time. It's full of bad memories and the more I go back, the more I really hate being there. I don't want to bump into people from the past who I would rather forget, and a lot of friends I made over the years have faded away as a result of people being busy with their own lives, and probably due to my illness, and that's fair enough.

I highly recommend cord cutting if you're struggling to let go of something or someone. You can do it using videos on YouTube or you can make your own up; visualise yourself attached to whatever it is by a thick cord and watch yourself cut through the cord with a big sharp sword. Watch the people/person/things fade away and see good things happening for them (that bit is pretty tricky ;)) Really focus on seeing the cords being severed and the feeling of freedom. Repeat it over and over until the feelings shrink. 

I recently drove past my old high school and primary school, and met up with a couple of school friends, and it clicked into place. Leeds is where I was born and lived for the first 20odd years of my life, and it's where I have to stay for now. The universe has brought me back here for a reason and I have to trust that this is where I need to be. And in the future, if I move somewhere else, then so be it. But for now, it's goodbye Sheffield. Thanks for the memories! Even if some of them are a bit painful.


2 comments:

  1. What positivity this post radiates Victoria!Such a positive step in the process;you should feel proud of yourself.

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  2. Welcome home, I can't think of anywhere better to live/work - there is so much more going on in Leeds nowadays - a fresh start is probably what you need x

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